Finding my rhythm of rest

Finding my rhythm of rest

Praise The LORD who is my Rock.
He trains my hands for war and
gives my fingers skill for battle.

–Psalm 144:1

Communication is my passion. Unfortunately, PTSD robbed me of that passion for at least 10 years. Over the last two years, “rhythm of rest,” has been bouncing around my head. I knew if I were to be successful and reclaim my career of choice I’d have to figure out how to work from a place of rest.

The Lord told me He would heal me at my new church shortly after I started attending. That made no sense until I started making key connections with key people. I didn’t understand supernatural healing before my current church home.

All I knew was even though Jesus said whenever two or three gather in His name we could ask anything in His name and he would do it, He didn’t really mean it. I wasn’t buying His promise of healing because He didn’t heal my husband from cancer despite several rounds of prayer, laying on of hands and anointing oil. He’d heal me? Yeah, sure, just like he healed my late husband.

I still get hit with massive waves of exhaustion whenever I get a hang nail but I’ve figured the storm of exhaustion often is followed by power bursts lasting a few days, or until the next nail breaks or splits.

I’m noticing when these power bursts come I can write for hours and get things done around the house. Slowly, I’m returning to proactivity rather than reactivity. I’ve become very good at managing fires now I’m learning how I can prevent them. My house is still a mess but not as messy as before.

This forgiveness series felt like a marathon. Posting every single day, at first, felt overwhelming until I figured out I could write the entire series for more continuity and less overwhelm.

When I sit, I’m really sitting on Jesus’ lap and taking dictation. It almost feels like I should pay Jesus royalties. Really, sitting for longer stretches means I’m cultivating a better ear for what He’s saying. I’m far more confident about my writing when I do this.

I feel His Presence as I write, rewrite and edit through to publication. I’m learning my gift came from Him and now He’s about to show me how much power He can flow through my fingers, voice and face.

This is the kind of emotional and spiritual intel for which people pay thousands of dollars. They attend Tony Robbins conferences while I attend church and Bible studies for free.

The way to improve my life is to give it to Jesus. He wants me to succeed. He desires for me to have a rewarding career without sacrificing my children, a decision before my husband died. I refuse to return to work before God releases me.

He’s training my fingers for battle. He wants me to learn how to rest in Him. My sense is I’ll be ready when he says I’m ready, which likely is after He’s healed me completely. Last I checked, Jesus likes his steak well done, i.e., good and faithful servant.

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