I was taken aback by my very primal fear of my father and my mother’s pathetic emotional attack.
After we met with the judge …
“A kid … in trouble again.” That’s how I felt after I said, “no” to my father’s request to speak with me after court proceedings had ended. I lowered my head in shame and bewilderment, and stayed behind my lawyer and a friend who shielded me from his attempts to insist I speak and listen to what he had to say.
As a victim the thing I’ve been trained to fear most is confrontation. I’m beginning to grasp why we need to confront our abusers and those who fail to protect us. I need to confront my nameless fear, my fear of standing up for myself and for those I love most. Yet here is a situation where I have a chance to experience growth and healing, and I’m still hiding my head, wishing the problem would magically disappear. … As with all growth, the rewards exceed the challenge.–“The Courage to Heal,” by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis, New updated Third Edition, Harper Collins, 1994, pg. 290.
The dynamic was interesting. My mother-in-law gave me a dirty look as if I was satan incarnate while my father-in-law simply ignored me. Mom and Dad avoided looking at me altogether. It was actually amusing to watch since I already knew the outcome.
I come out smelling like a rose. Because she is constitutionally incapable of telling the truth without guile she likely has placed herself in a status that excludes her from any future jury invites. She tried to manipulate the court investigator before court went into session but according to my lawyer she merely “frosted” him some more. He was not happy with my mother.
“I am not crazy,” is what I said to my lawyer and girlfriend after we got to the coffee shop across the street though I was terrified all day. I felt as I did after my father cussed out Edd about two months before he died. I was afraid my father would show up with either his shotgun or glock and finish the job of ridding the family of me, the troublemaker. I nearly called my lawyer today to bring up the need for a restraining order against my parents but I’ll have to wait for my therapist to write his letter citing why this is a necessary tool for my family’s protection.
I, like my mother, am a huge CSI fan. I wouldn’t be surprised if she wasn’t plotting some way to murder me. My mother is cold, calculating and conniving. She also has a flair for the dramatic and is forever the victim not the victimizer.
I didn’t understand why this was happening to me so I reread the chapter on Stella, Virginia Wolf’s oldest half-sister and was reminded my mother is treating me from a Victorian point of view. Clearly she hasn’t a clue what she’s doing and its implications.
Back to the future
What I know today, in 2012, is that their lawyer withdrew from the case, according to my attorney who spoke with her after the fact. The grandparents wanted to continue the fight against me but none of the grandparents understood my mother was facing possible perjury charges for lying to an officer of the court, not to mention they now had an uphill battle with a gaping hole in their boat.
Finally, the judge ordered us to meet with a family counselor to discuss this entire situation. My lawyer and I knew they would never go for it since they don’t believe in psychiatry, therapists or psychotropic medication. My father’s wife who is a lawyer, filed for dismissal and it was one for the win column for me and my God.
ABOUT BORICUA CONFIDENTIAL©™
Boricua Confidential chronicles my new life as a single mom of two kids after my husband died from cancer on our son’s seventh birthday. Join me on this journey of change, revival, reformation, discovery and new direction ordered of God. Being a widow ain’t easy, that’s for sure. I refuse to rollover and die. Quite the contrary. I intend to thrive from this crazy life. You can’t keep this woman down. If I’m down, I won’t be for long.
God created me to bounce back. Watch me.