Day 9: Healing from PTSD (albeit slowly)

31 Days of Gratitude
Join me as I celebrate all I have to be thankful for during the month of October. Why October instead of November? One more day! Enjoy and be blessed.

I have been on a healing path from PTSD for too long. However, it is still true that I have been healing. It’s not quite the speed with which I would like but it’s happening.

God knew exactly the therapist I would need. Someone who doesn’t take any shit from me. I have certainly flung my fair shair of poop at him to thwart his healing attempts. I’ve picked his zits and he has flung it right back at me. He is stronger than I am and seen people like me thousands of times over the course of his 43-year old practice.

Today, I am hunting for a job. It’s not that I’ve waiting until I was ready to return. I’m looking out of necessity. I need a good job so I can get the hell off disability. I can’t live on disability in Silicon Valley. Perhaps if I lived in Kansa City, Kansas, I’d be fine but in California? What I qualify for doesn’t neither pays rent nor allows me to be eligible for help affording my medication.

How do I know I’m healing? I’m actively looking for a job. I’m submitting resumes everywhere and going to interviews. Five years ago that was impossible, which is why I know I’m healing.

I refuse to allow PTSD to define me or get in the way of my hopes and dreams. God has a very specific plan and purpose for me and I intend to see it through. He’s already given me a vision of my future and all I can say is, “I want it!”

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