Day 9: Give up resentment

Day 9: Give up resentment

30 days of forgiveness

Forgiveness means giving up resentment of or claim to harm, insult. Well, if that doesn’t say it all right there. I have been revictimized, harmed, insulted and publicly humiliated by my own parents. There’s nothing like hearing my father tell a judge, “She’s sick,” or mentally ill. Even worse is hearing my mother blatantly and repeatedly lie to a judge she is concerned for my mental well being.

Then …
How do I give up resenting my parent’s circus tactics in court, which cost me everything including close family relationships when I needed them most? Another result of all these courtroom shenanigans is I get to surrender my car to the bank next week.

How do I stop resenting being lied about and manipulated for their gain and twisted motives? How do I give up resenting my father for shaming my brother in the middle of the night for wetting the bed when, in fact, it was my father who was covering up his pedophilic act? He had no business in my brother’s bedroom putting his hands anywhere near his groin. My brother suffered tremendously because of him. I still see the damage in him today.

How do I give up resenting my mother for being such a severe narcissist she neglected the well-being of her own children so she could have the illusion of a good marriage and a comfortable life? How do I forgive a pedophile and his willing accomplice?

On my own, I cannot. It’s impossible for me to lay it down. With Jesus, all things are possible.


It’s a process
As I pointed out on Day 3, The Lord’s Prayer clearly states I am forgiven to the extent I forgive. Forgiveness is a process that doesn’t happen overnight particularly when the transgression is so great and over a prolonged period of time. It’s like forgiving someone for murder. People have done it but it’s a process.

I will not beat myself up for feeling resentment and anger 11 years after I discovered I was an incest survivor much less not forgiving instantaneously. I’ve had serious harm inflicted upon me over a long period of time. Therefore, it will take a long time to grant full pardon and end my resentment of their very existence.

It’s true: Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. I think I’ll let my Savior blaze a trail and set a table for me in the presence of my “enemies,” foreign and domestic.

Points to ponder
What are you beating yourself up about? What harm done to you do you still resent? When do you find yourself overreacting, i.e., screaming over the proverbial spilled milk? Are you seeking His help?

Posts in this series
Day 1: Pushing past the pain
Day 2: Stop feeling anger
Day 3: The Lord’s Prayer
Day 4: Detachment
Day 5: Grant a pardon
Day 6: Mercy
Day 7: Release
Day 8: Yield
Day 9: Give up resentment
Day 10: Sacrifice
Day 11: Ascribe
Day 12: Surrender
Day 13: No shame, no blame
Day 14: Awareness
Day 15: Acceptance
Day 16: Action
Day 17: Pain is growth
Day 18: Grace
Day 19: Emotional and spiritual maturity
Day 20: Compassion
Day 21: Don’t give up
Day 22: The house Love built
Day 23: Let the healing begin
Day 24: Freedom
Day 25: Trust God
Day 26: Believe
Day 27: Think positive
Day 28: Restoration
Day 29: My family legacy
Day 30: It’s worth it
Podcast: A little background on Forgiveness series

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